“Do you watch other people having sex in your spare time? For pleasure?”

I regret I have to be so coarse, but we need to do something to smash the euphemisms that downplay the evil of using pornography.

In fact, let’s go a bit further.

How about the next time you’re tempted to minimize this sin by saying “I’m struggling with porn” or “I have a porn problem,” you say, “No, I have a masturbation problem.”

By saying “I’m struggling with porn,” you are excusing yourself. You are blaming some distant pictures and pixels out there. But that’s just a means to an end. The real problem is not porn. It’s much closer to home. It’s between your legs.” Actually it’s between your shoulders. It’s a heart problem.

We need to be shocked again at the vileness of this sin. We need to see it for what it is, name it for what it is, and with the blessing of the Holy Spirit we might raise a new generation of men who will abhor this self-centered perversion of God’s created order.

I do not want my daughter to marry an unrepentant masturbator. First, because marriage rarely stops porn use and masturbation. Second, because you will start acting out your porn on your poor wife, taking all that you’ve seen and imposing it on her. Third, this is usually not enough and it usually ends up in adultery and other extra-marital sex. Fourth, as the research into the links between porn and domestic violence shows, porn use will often end up in domestic violence.

And if this video has sickened and disgusted you, good! That was the aim. Now take your nausea and disgust to the holy Lord Jesus Christ for pardon AND purging.

To paraphrase the Apostle John, “If we confess our masturbation, he is faithful and just to forgive us our masturbation and to cleanse us from all our masturbation!”

Then show how genuine you are by getting rid of your smartphone, putting Covenant Eyes on all your devices, and asking your wife or a good friend to receive your weekly accountability reports. It’s got to be someone who will hit you between the eyes when you’ve got a problem between your legs and between your shoulders.

I’m going to come back to this subject in the future with a series of videos that will go into more detail on this, but I wanted to just do a short, sharp, shock, in this series on stewarding our bodies.

Remember 1 Corinthians 6. My body is for the Lord, the Lord is for the body, my body is a member of Christ, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, my body has been bought with a price, my body is not my own but God’s. Therefore glorify God in your body.

Or to paraphrase: Your penis is for the Lord, your penis is a member of Christ, your penis is a temple of the Holy Spirit, your penis has been bought with a price, your penis is not your own but God’s. Therefore glorify God with your penis.


Discussion Questions

  1. In what ways do men attempt to excuse, minimize, or explain away porn use?
  2. What steps will you take to increase accountability with your digital devices?
  3. What other problems and consequences flow from porn use?

Further Reading

Here’s a resource page for beating pornography with many book recommendations and blog articles to read.

I usually recommend Tim Challies’ book Sexual Detox as a starting point. Then, read Heath Lambert’s Finally Free. For more of a workbook approach, use Soul Purity by Dave Coats.